Up till this point, I think this year's been a blessing in disguise.

Despite some disappointments that'd tainted the year and some of the most heartwrenching days, I'm almost glad to say that thank goodness I'd been through all those. I'd never fully realised the importance of seeing right through a guise and walking away before harm befalls me. Before this year, I'd though this world I'm living in was innocent to a certain extent. Of course such naive thoughts should have had been dismissed right from the very start, but to a mind unknowing and muchly untainted, the endless possibilities intrigue and amaze me. Dismissing an idea felt like deprivation, which was something I simply could not handle that well.

I must say, this year's been a grilling year. Schoolwork alone was suffocating and unbearable, but when red lights started to pop up one by one in my personal relationships, and then finding myself stranded in speechless conversations having nothing to say to seemingly can't-be-helped friendships, I was through and through with all the drama going on. Nervous breakdowns started coming frequently with all the stress that my academics are giving me. While others have the chance of turning to bed early, sometimes I question myself why I have to try so much harder to do just as well, if my life's perhaps really ill-fated.

I think what's really inspired and transpired within me would definitely be sensibility which I'd never felt running through my veins these years. Truthfully, I would not say I was ever sensible in previous years. Circumstances have forced me to grow out of my childish demeanor and to face my problems head-on. But all these I would say happened far too quickly. Adapting to my problems had become a part of me I cannot wave away, and the toll it'd taken on me far too great. The incremental pressure was not something I'd ever imagine in my wildest dreams, and I lacked the emotional capacity to stomach all those uprisings. Before I knew it, I'd found myself stranded with no means to talk about, and my mind focused on something else most of the time. The lack of concentration and sleep deprivation caused me to finally break down. Despite the cruel truth that up to this point everything's just exactly the same from where I'd left of, I'm proud to say I'd worn out of my childish reasonings. In life, there are times of tribulation and jubilation, and I'm thankful to say that mine had come just in time to toughen me up for future challenges that might lie ahead.

I'm so glad to have family and friends who had helped me through the tough times. Thank you for shining light on to my darkest days and showing me that after every sunset comes a new rising sun.