So this is how giving up feels like, an overwhelming sense of hopeless, hollow satisfaction that just doesn't really fulfill the wishes of the heart.
It is a bargain, a painful but meaningful one.
At least now I'm settled, for once.
"Of no consequence. No reason for harbouring. No harm to lose. It's like waiting for a train long gone, so what's the point?"
This is not us drifting,
neither is this leaving.
This is different from letting go of lost love,
or separating for a little while.
Giving up - the concept is rather simple.
A hopeless desolation.
Willing the exhilaration of escaping to infiltrate and numb my senses.
Maybe when I can no longer feel, I can no longer need you.
Just when I feel that I'm strong enough to break free.
I'm weighed down by the thoughts of you,
they're too heavy, too dull, too cluttered with memories I have not had the courage to sort out.
The recipe towards moving on is simple, to leave behind what aches your heart.
I question the feasibility, because since then, I've been waving away the shadow of your face behind my eyelids.
But the image of the face I'd yearned for burns like a scar on my tender heart.
You play at my heartstrings, a song of us.
Like canaries trying to sing a song, but no more, no more.