You make my heart palpitate with fear I haven't felt before.

You had the ability to bring me to my knees and cry.

Just you, only you.

So tell me, why of all people, why you?

/edit

RANT. COS I AM SO PISSED OFF SUDDENLY. This has got nothing to do with the abovementioned.

I have yet to reconcile with the fact I have to leave once you're fine.

I told myself I would, once convinced myself I could.

Yet right now, I can't bring myself to do it anymore.

You give me false faith I can't handle intelligently.

You make me believe, then you inject hope for the hopeless

I've known, I've been through it, seen it happen, felt the impact.

And yet, and yet, I know I can't lose you.

A promise is a promise, even when it is to oneself.

If I said I would do it, I have to.

I have bent all rules, and I've been helping you.

I know that once you're okay, I will walk away.

No matter how difficult it is, I know I will.

I have come thus far without examining the reasons, blindly walking through this without a care for the impact I have to brace myself for.

I know this would hurt you, I'm sorry.

The truth, though I might have forgiven all and forgotten some, I can't bring myself to deal with another one of the serial dramas, it is taxing and I don't have much energy left in me.

Unless I can find some reason to stay, I will leave.
I can't continue living in a lie I've naively fabricated myself.

Serial dramas end some where, curtain call.

The finale, the last episode, the end.

I hated the idea of adding on to your current sorrows, so I've chosen a later date, when you've got everything restored. So that if it should impact you, you had something to fall back on.

Because I know just how important friends are, they've shone a lot of light into my issues.

Though we share different social circles, I think they possess a certain quality that make them friends in the first place.

I can't believe up till this stage I still care. Honestly, I never knew I was this nice, hahaha.

I'm sorry, I know I've always been typing nice things only about this group of people which I can't name explicitly on my blog.

It's about time they realise what I'm worth.

Seriously, I'm not a wonder woman.

I can't be a seamstress, electrician, mover, slave, accountant, email spammer and I don't know what else I've been transforming into and be a human and a friend at the same time.

I hate the fact that now I'm bringing these into my class.

It's blurring the lines and crossing boundaries, I don't like that idea very much.

I hate the fact that my friends think this suck, cos in reality, we don't suck that much.

I wonder why I have to come home every session feeling sick and pissed off about something and I have to bring it into class the next day.

I realise I'm just doing it for myself, tell myself that I have done everything I could have. In return, I get guilt-free nights, and I get to sleep soundly.

But the only politically correct reason would be because I want to serve them.

The irony of it all, seriously.

If I don't leave without making it clear that QMs are in every bit deserving of something better, I guess I have failed as one.