17 days spent in turmoil;

15 hours spent on my bed;

(24 x 17) -15 hours spent with books;

3 times sleeping on my tpc;

1st time I resorted to coffee;

2 nights without any sleep;

158 pieces of printing paper sacrificed and killed in battle;

all thanks to Mid-Year Examination 2010. -forces a smile on my face-

Since no one reads this blog anymore,

I find myself a lot closer to my friends in Choir.

Choir, I find a sense of attachment.

When everything single thing seems to just fail me and put me down, detaching me emotionally.

Choir is the only link to sanity, and I'm serious.

No matter how much I say I hate Choir, I know there's a part of me that knows Choir is all I can lean on.

I realise, maybe I should have a long time ago, that whenever something awful happens, in choir or not, I'll always turn to someone in Choir, rant and cry about it and tell myself it's all okay.

I guess its just like that,

it's either you survive by a life jacket, or die on your own.

When she stopped talking to me, my world crashed.

Then it seemed all too obvious to me, that its more than important to keep what I have close before they leave.

She was one of my closest friends, literally and metaphorically.

Then when we left on our own ways, things change.

Time either mends, or break your heart.

No grudges held, just a startling realisation to keep what I have closer.

I'd prefer to think about the days when we bothered to talk, not when we blatantly ignore each other.

Seeing my name on your blog, I don't know what to think.

Then looking at the date, 'oh, so its been so long ago'

On a different matter,

I know why you chose that time, that place, that day to say it.

I know why you chose her to say it to.

I know why you chose to say it right in my face.

Right now, and I guess not ever, I have no more energy to bitch fight anymore.

I'm not asking for a fight whatsoever, I just think the least I deserve would be an answer.

Just tell me if you dislike me.

Life is a roller-coaster.

I feel weak inside out. I feel tired physically and mentally. I feel like giving up this fight.

I find myself literally sitting in a corner and crying every time such things happen.

I found myself crying when I couldn't finish studying Lit or Geog, which is silly.

But I really couldn't help it, it felt helpless.

I lost the momentum to move forward, with every step it's driving me backwards.

Helpless, hopeless.

God, thank you for being a constant in my life, thank you for never forsaking me and always leading the way.

Okay, so to end this post in a nice manner,

Oh yes Grace, I hope your eyeball doesnt decide to abandon you for good.

Must treat it well okay! Heehee.