月又阴晴圆缺
I talked to Claudia yesterday.
It made me realise some things.
Late-night conversations always come with messages.
I make myself impenetrable.
And that means I don't allow anyone to know the inner monster in me.
I believe that I'm true about my feelings.
But I am not.
I'm not a follower, nor am I a leader.
I am my friend.
I take sides, and I am bitchy.
I gossip, and I am bimbotic.
Realisations,
they hurt most when you're conscious.
I haven't started mugging,
nor have I finished my homework.
Peipei is doomed.
Work is killing me.
It's piled up since 2 months before SYF and I have got no idea where to start.
Sigh.
You are more than a dream.
/edit
Looking fine is just a method to let me think everything is fine,
when everything is not.
So, instead of wallowing in self-pity, I choose to look alright.
And convince myself that everything is.
I choose to wear my mask, I've grown so used to.
So much so I'm influenced by my mask's needs, not mine
I wear a mask so I don't have to see the ugly side of me, hidden beneath that mask.
Lost identities,
I am, a lost identity.
I read through my previous posts,
surprised by how stupid I was.