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Saturday, October 18, 2008, 9:30 PM
its hurtful, its devastating, its time to go
disclaimer: this post may refer to ALL, FEW OF YOU, OR JUST YOU.
this does not only refer to the eight people
it refers to all, as in ALL and ANY person
im just going to express all my thoughts hope you all don't mind
i know you do, but just yea, im going crazy alrdy
im sure you all know the recent conflict of which was referred to as "clique fight"
so i shall not go into details
cos if you should know about this
then you would have alrdy known if you don't,
then this doesn't concern you
im not going to thank anyone here
nor am i going to scold anyone here
i shall just express my thoughts as a person involved and nothing more
recently, many people have been asking me when this is going to end
and seriously speaking, ive got no idea i want this to end
yes i do but this is not easy
i hope you all can understand that this is not typical friendship problem
where you just shake hands and thats it
yes, it started off like that but due to my carelessness and indifference,
ive overlooked this problem and thus expanded to many others
for this i shall take responsibility
of course we are people and no one is perfect
we have our own set of shortcomings and flaws and sometimes,
we can't seem to do anything about it
however hard we try
and therefore, i shall say that ive created all this havoc
hate me all you want,
ive expected all this and im mentally prepared
look, im not admitting or whatsoever
here in a conflict, both parties are wrong in some way or another
and sometimes, we just can't control adversity and conflicts
and soon we fall apart because of that
its part of life and we have to face it, no matter how much we don't want to
recently, its rather obvious the class is taking sides
and its depressing
esp when you see all your once so trusted classmates
going against you and not caring about your feelings,
repeatedly tell you to stop
when you know you can't cos you don't have the power and authority to
and people who suddenly scold you,
shun away,
its sad.
and yes, im at fault but is it only me?
people who say you don't take sides
yes, perhaps
but think again, you really don't?
i hate to see everything crumble due to my problem
where many others who are totally not involved get into the problem
its like you feel the whole world is suddenly against you
and you can literally feel yourself breaking inside
and your heart just broke
its not a nice feeling, trust me.
when i told the counsellor
can you imagine the hurt and sorrow in me, when i said does words?
my eyes just watered and i almost cried in the room
i was really very lost,
i just felt like ive lost everything overnight
the sadness, and grief, and regret,
just surged over me like a forceful tidal wave
pushing me away
can you imagine every night,
before you turn in you look into the mirror
its you.
but its not you again
cos you're the one who broke the class up into pieces
and you just stare at yourself suddenly theres a voice beside you telling you,
"no one cares anymore, you're alone, you're no longer part of them, they hate you now"
and you feel yourself
falling
falling
into a deep hole
and you can't pull yourself up
this is partly the reason why i decided to visit the counsellor
not because i want to accuse or get anyone into trouble
but because i know i can't take this anymore by myself
and i need someone who would sit there and help me sort things out,
one by one
cos im feeling very depressed now
i really have absolutely no idea what to do
i can't possibly sit there and wait to be sent to the asylum
i feel like the world is against me
im crumbling inside
my mental state is far from good
and the worst thing is i know no one cares.
there's still a whole lot in me of which i dun want to say
and once again i emphasise this may not refer to you
and im just venting everything out before i go crazy of all the pressure.the last paragraph of my compositionthat ive wrote of the EOY english paper 1i dont know whybut i know i want to write it down..Met with the crossroads in my life, its was either to accept or decline what life had planned for me. Though this journey had been a fearful, frightening one, I had found contentment in it and that was enough to surpass the remarks from others about me. We may be fearful about things, but through determination we would be able to overcome them.tag replies:
sorry, i know its been a million years since ive
replied tags.
i really cant "HAHA" or " TEEHEE: anymore, so
just understand okay?
YR: given the circumstances now, you think i should?
QIS!: i guess it makes a huge difference
CRYSTAL: yea, i remember, its classic
pearlyn:thanks for tagging! sorry, i can't bring myself to say
anything better, read my posts,you'l understand, its not your fault
anyway.
QIS!: yes, i saw, thank you
WENQI: relinked
YR: ok.. thank you
YR: perhaps drink alcohol? ive heard they are better stress relievers
madd: thank you, its comforting
Ka Wing: soon? sorry uh
JERM: hello
JOLLIN:yes, it was for you, but now its gone):
CRYSTAL: hello
YR: why not? i enjoy looking at them and laughing to myself
FIORINA:D: sorry, idk what you are talking about, my old posts are all
gone
YR: wad back?
YR: put alrdy
JOYCE: im glad too ( to some extent)
YR: idk wad to say..
JERM: seriously, you all misunderstood me, im not saying that anyone
scolded me or whatsoever. btw, im not angry that you scolded me or what.
ok,super short tags
cos im not in the best of mood to reply tags
but the tags are piling up
so i have to reply
please understand, im not a actress
i cant act like im happy whatsoever.
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Profile
Hello, I'm Peileepei
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Saturday, October 18, 2008, 9:30 PM
its hurtful, its devastating, its time to go
disclaimer: this post may refer to ALL, FEW OF YOU, OR JUST YOU.
this does not only refer to the eight people
it refers to all, as in ALL and ANY person
im just going to express all my thoughts hope you all don't mind
i know you do, but just yea, im going crazy alrdy
im sure you all know the recent conflict of which was referred to as "clique fight"
so i shall not go into details
cos if you should know about this
then you would have alrdy known if you don't,
then this doesn't concern you
im not going to thank anyone here
nor am i going to scold anyone here
i shall just express my thoughts as a person involved and nothing more
recently, many people have been asking me when this is going to end
and seriously speaking, ive got no idea i want this to end
yes i do but this is not easy
i hope you all can understand that this is not typical friendship problem
where you just shake hands and thats it
yes, it started off like that but due to my carelessness and indifference,
ive overlooked this problem and thus expanded to many others
for this i shall take responsibility
of course we are people and no one is perfect
we have our own set of shortcomings and flaws and sometimes,
we can't seem to do anything about it
however hard we try
and therefore, i shall say that ive created all this havoc
hate me all you want,
ive expected all this and im mentally prepared
look, im not admitting or whatsoever
here in a conflict, both parties are wrong in some way or another
and sometimes, we just can't control adversity and conflicts
and soon we fall apart because of that
its part of life and we have to face it, no matter how much we don't want to
recently, its rather obvious the class is taking sides
and its depressing
esp when you see all your once so trusted classmates
going against you and not caring about your feelings,
repeatedly tell you to stop
when you know you can't cos you don't have the power and authority to
and people who suddenly scold you,
shun away,
its sad.
and yes, im at fault but is it only me?
people who say you don't take sides
yes, perhaps
but think again, you really don't?
i hate to see everything crumble due to my problem
where many others who are totally not involved get into the problem
its like you feel the whole world is suddenly against you
and you can literally feel yourself breaking inside
and your heart just broke
its not a nice feeling, trust me.
when i told the counsellor
can you imagine the hurt and sorrow in me, when i said does words?
my eyes just watered and i almost cried in the room
i was really very lost,
i just felt like ive lost everything overnight
the sadness, and grief, and regret,
just surged over me like a forceful tidal wave
pushing me away
can you imagine every night,
before you turn in you look into the mirror
its you.
but its not you again
cos you're the one who broke the class up into pieces
and you just stare at yourself suddenly theres a voice beside you telling you,
"no one cares anymore, you're alone, you're no longer part of them, they hate you now"
and you feel yourself
falling
falling
into a deep hole
and you can't pull yourself up
this is partly the reason why i decided to visit the counsellor
not because i want to accuse or get anyone into trouble
but because i know i can't take this anymore by myself
and i need someone who would sit there and help me sort things out,
one by one
cos im feeling very depressed now
i really have absolutely no idea what to do
i can't possibly sit there and wait to be sent to the asylum
i feel like the world is against me
im crumbling inside
my mental state is far from good
and the worst thing is i know no one cares.
there's still a whole lot in me of which i dun want to say
and once again i emphasise this may not refer to you
and im just venting everything out before i go crazy of all the pressure.the last paragraph of my compositionthat ive wrote of the EOY english paper 1i dont know whybut i know i want to write it down..Met with the crossroads in my life, its was either to accept or decline what life had planned for me. Though this journey had been a fearful, frightening one, I had found contentment in it and that was enough to surpass the remarks from others about me. We may be fearful about things, but through determination we would be able to overcome them.tag replies:
sorry, i know its been a million years since ive
replied tags.
i really cant "HAHA" or " TEEHEE: anymore, so
just understand okay?
YR: given the circumstances now, you think i should?
QIS!: i guess it makes a huge difference
CRYSTAL: yea, i remember, its classic
pearlyn:thanks for tagging! sorry, i can't bring myself to say
anything better, read my posts,you'l understand, its not your fault
anyway.
QIS!: yes, i saw, thank you
WENQI: relinked
YR: ok.. thank you
YR: perhaps drink alcohol? ive heard they are better stress relievers
madd: thank you, its comforting
Ka Wing: soon? sorry uh
JERM: hello
JOLLIN:yes, it was for you, but now its gone):
CRYSTAL: hello
YR: why not? i enjoy looking at them and laughing to myself
FIORINA:D: sorry, idk what you are talking about, my old posts are all
gone
YR: wad back?
YR: put alrdy
JOYCE: im glad too ( to some extent)
YR: idk wad to say..
JERM: seriously, you all misunderstood me, im not saying that anyone
scolded me or whatsoever. btw, im not angry that you scolded me or what.
ok,super short tags
cos im not in the best of mood to reply tags
but the tags are piling up
so i have to reply
please understand, im not a actress
i cant act like im happy whatsoever.
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